Are you ever standing in a group – they’re talking about politics, and you’re nodding your head while wishing you actually gave a fuck? – Or how about when someone asks you where a certain State/Country/Landmark is and you’ve never even heard of it? How sad is your little heart when someone asks your opinion on some other boring topic and you have nothing to offer?
If the only time you ever have a decent answer to someone is when the question was “do you know where they sell the cheapest beer around here?” or “what time is Jersey Shore on?” or maybe “how do you spell Mississippi? ( and this one you only know the answer to because your sweet 3rd grade teacher taught you a little song about it)” – then you’ve come to the right place.
Although I must admit I’m smarter than your average stoner – there’s plenty of times when I’m in a conversation that I could swear is in a different language. Don’t fear my friends – I’m here to help make sure not everyone knows how empty your brain is.
Look people in the eye when answering a question, or contributing to a conversation. Don’t be afraid, most people don’t bite.
When there’s a conversation about a book going on, make up a book and an author, and talk about how he is the new “author they were talking about,” and how his book “blahblah” is going to change the way people view “such and such topic.” I’m telling you – this one works, even though I don’t have to use it much since I am an avid reader, and normally the only one who wants to talk books out of everyone I know.
It’s okay to make things up – being a good story-teller is a great quality in a person, just try to stay away from anything that involves real names and places, that people can actually look up (and trust me, it sounds pathetic but there are PLENTYY of people with nothing better to do than check your facts – they’re most of the time looking to prove you wrong)
When people are talking about the state of the economy – throw in some personal, or made up, story about a friend/relative/fictional character you know who lost their business, and is now living on the streets. You might not be spewing numbers and theories like the rest of the group is, but hey at least you’re relatable. Everyone knows someone who’s lost way too much in the past couple of years.
The point is.. search your brain for something that sounds believable. Sometimes when you think you’re making something up, it’s really just some repressed knowledge your brain’s never had to use. If you get caught while not knowing what you’re talking about, say something along the lines of “just wanted to make sure you were REALLY listening” – then go to the bar and get a drink, find the skankiest dressed people wherever you are – and have a conversation you actually feel comfortable speaking in.